3 Things Most People Don’t Understand About Strengths

We all like to talk about strengths when we are given the chance. It is energizing and uplifting. It brings us new insights into ourselves a...

We all like to talk about strengths when we are given the chance. It is energizing and uplifting. It brings us new insights into ourselves and pathways to positive change. But, if you haven't done a lot of study and practice with strengths, it’s likely you have some wrong ideas about strengths. These are called misconceptions.

Here are three of the most common misconception areas about strengths. Understanding these will help you make the most of what your character strengths can offer you. And that’s no small promise…remember, character strengths research shows they're connected with greater flourishing in life, achievement of goals, work productivity, physical health, and better relationships!

Misconception #1: “My character strengths don’t change.”

Research shows that people tend to believe their strengths are less changeable than their weaknesses. If you are one of those people (which is likely) you are blocking your opportunity for growth.

We are less likely to try when we think something can’t be changed. If you believe change is futile then you can’t be braver in conversations with your father, more persevering with that work project, more honest with yourself about your addiction, or more fair-minded with your friend. This futility is a helpless and stuck feeling — it’s miserable to feel as if you cannot improve.

The good news is that you and others can be taught to see your strengths as changeable, that character strengths are not fixed in place or etched in stone. Modern research in the field of personality has shown us this in the last decade. Our personality and our character (which is part of our positive personality) can and do change over time.

I recall Samantha, a woman who was unhappy that gratitude was her 24th strength. “This doesn’t feel like the real me,” she told me. So, she went about trying to change it. She developed a nightly practice of writing down three things she was grateful for each day and why these things occurred. She tried to express gratitude in a deliberate and clear way with family and friends. I saw her a year later at a work event and she came up to me with great excitement.

“Look, look,” she exclaimed as she pulled out her smartphone. “I took the VIA Survey again and I raised my gratitude strength up to #3. I’ve worked at it each week. It’s now an important part of who I am and how I operate.”

While you can impact your character strengths in a positive way (or negative way), it’s also important to keep a second reality in mind. We are creatures of habit and are consistent in how we express ourselves from year to year. We are who we are.

On the VIA Survey, a person’s raw score results (as opposed to rank order results) are typically quite consistent from test to test, year after year. It's uncommon to see numerous large changes in people's VIA Survey results from test to test. It’s more common to see small changes in rank order such as a shuffling around of strengths in your top 10 or say, creativity popping up into your top 5 or teamwork dropping down to your bottom 5.

The key takeaway here is that you can make a difference in your strengths. You can target your perseverance or your curiosity and through practices and activities and build them up in your profile.

Misconception #2: “A strength is a strength. They’re all the same.”

Incorrect. Each character strength brings with it several unique potential benefits. Your perseverance is especially helpful for reaching your goals, your social intelligence and humour help you make friends, and your self-regulation is especially important for improving your health.

All 24 of these strengths matter for you, they just matter for different purposes. There are no bad strengths.

Related to this is we can group the character strengths into categories, such as “signature strengths,” “happiness strengths,” “phasic strengths,” and “lower strengths.” Are all these strengths categories equal?

Again, the answer would be “no.” Some categories are more important than others to help you get the most out of your life. Research is beginning to unpack which categories are better for which purposes, so there is more that we don’t know than we do know now. That said, the strongest and most consistent research is on the strength category called signature strengths, those strengths highest in you.

A key takeaway here is to identify, explore, and cultivate your signature strengths. Use them more in each of your life domains – your work, relationships, and community.

Misconception #3: “There is one way to use my character strengths.”

It’s easy to get locked into a certain way of doing things. We all fall victim to our habits.

The reality is each one of us can come up with many new ways to use our strengths. Remember, you are the expert on yourself. Give yourself the chance to explore and express your best qualities in different ways. Don’t be blocked by perfection. There is no perfect way to use your strengths.

Instead, ask yourself: How might I use one of my signature strengths while I’m talking with my boss? Which character strength will help me deliver this presentation? Which will support me in this e-mail I’m writing?

As you reflect, discuss, and try out your character strengths, your ideas will flow. You'll soon realize that the possibilities are endless.

A key takeaway here is to periodically remind yourself that there is no “perfect way” to use your strengths. Trust yourself to express yourself fully.